The Very Great Importance of Unicorns

Gran works with computers.

Mum works with computers.

Dad works with computers.

Everyone works with computers except me.

Gran says her job is mostly emails and meetings.

That sounds ordinary.

But sometimes her phone rings and her voice changes.

Not louder.

Smaller.

Gran has a chair that fits her exactly.

It is brown and soft and makes a gentle thump when the footrest comes out.

When she sits in it after work, sometimes she is Story Gran.

Sometimes she is Funny Gran.

Sometimes she is Quiet Gran.

Quiet Gran looks at her phone like it is telling her something she does not like.

I do not like Quiet Gran.

When Quiet Gran appears, I get the glitter pens from the second drawer.

“Gran,” I say very seriously, “it is time for a unicorn.”

Gran blinks like she has just come back from somewhere far away.

“A unicorn?” she says.

“Yes. A very sparkly one.”

We draw it together.

Mine has twelve legs.

Gran never says that is too many.

After the unicorn, her shoulders are not up near her ears anymore.

Gran makes a lot of tea.

The kettle knows her name.

When she has meetings, she closes the office door and talks in her Calm Voice.

Her Calm Voice sounds like nothing is wrong anywhere.

But when the meeting finishes, she makes tea and goes out onto the balcony.

Then she says Very Loud Words.

Not at anyone.

Just into the sky.

The Very Loud Words are not allowed at kindy.

After the Very Loud Words, she drinks her tea.

Then she comes back inside.

On Monday Gran said we’d have High Tea on Thursday at three o’clock sharp.

She likes things to be exact.

High Tea is very important.

Tiny cups.

Tiny cakes.

Necklaces that are too big.

On Wednesday we polished the spoons.

On Thursday morning she winked at me and said, “Ready?”

I was ready.

At two fifty-nine I put on my sparkly shoes.

I set out the cups.

I chose the good biscuits.

I brought my best teddy bear, though it’s well known he doesn’t cope with crumbs.

Three o’clock came.

The office door stayed closed.

I could hear Gran’s Calm Voice.“I know we’re short.”

“It has to be done today.”

“Yes.”

Three oh five.

Three ten.

The kettle did not sing.

I sat in Gran’s chair.

It does not fit me.

It is too big and too full of her.

Four o’clock.

The door opened.

Gran came out already looking at me.

She didn’t look at her phone.

She didn’t look at the cups.

She looked at me.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

Just that.

My throat felt funny.

I nodded.

Gran walked straight to the balcony.

The door slid open.

The Very Loud Words were louder than usual.

The sky heard everything.

After a while she came back inside and knelt down so we were the same height.

“Sometimes,” she said, “you get stuck in something that needs to be fixed. I really wanted to be drinking tea with you.”

I thought about shoelaces with knots you cannot pull loose.

“Is it fixed?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Yes.”

“Good,” I said. “Because the cakes are still here.”

Gran’s hugs are not quick.

They are the kind that make your bones remember where they go.

We had High Tea at four■thirty■ish.

Gran still works with computers.

She still has Important Face sometimes.

She still says Very Loud Words on the balcony.

The sky is very understanding.

Gran is mostly quiet.

Mostly funny.

Mostly ready on time.

And when she is not, she says, “I’m sorry.”

Then she makes tea.

And sometimes she needs a unicorn.

That is okay.

Because I am very good at unicorns

Am totally obsessed with the diving thing. Totally. I know it’s insane. I know that my people (Caitlin, Kane, Duane…) do not share this. But I don’t really care. I just want to keep doing it. Sorry.

So. Lots of stuff.

But mostly want to say Martha Wells MurderBot series is AWESOME!

My gosh – I read the first one (they’re quite short) and immediately wait listed the second… and continued in that vein for a few books. Did a tiny bit of research on Martha. She’s written (very good) Star Wars fan fiction, Stargate fan fic but also for the actual series.

And I’d never heard of her. But found the MurderBot diaries by accident and was hooked. Absolutely hooked.

And hated the end of the last book. But that’s okay. I don’t have to love stuff to enjoy it (reference Narnia) 😏

The other thing I’ve discovered recently is Temeraire by Naomi Novik.

Actually discovered Naomi through other books – Spinning Silver, a Rumplestiltskin/Baba Yaga cross over, Uprooted – just a brilliant story teller and the Temeraire series is a cross over of Robin Hobb and Georgette Heyer – “Infamous Army” and with Anne McCafferty definitely thrown in. It is all about the Napoleonic wars but with an added level.

Bloody hell – just really good writing.

I’ve been in a weird space.

I bought the entire Narnia books in Audible and have been listening to them to and from work for the last couple of months. I’ve read them before, though it’s been 20 years or so, and first heard them when I was 4 or 5 when mum and Peter read them to us. So they’ve always been at the back of my reading – whatever I’m reading. They were truly magic. Right now I’m listening to them in Narnian chronological order, so not the order I first knew them in but in semi-logical order. So have got through all of them except The Last Battle which I’m reading now. Have always hated that book, no idea why. Am very interested to know how I see it now and what the actual story is.

And I’ve found Temeraire – it’s an amazing series based in Napoleon times, has the English naval history as well as the whole regency period thing going on, but with dragons and Air Force! And am discovering also very much focussed on slavery, reforms and to a small extent women’s rights. Its an amazing world to be in – half of it known and the other half absolutely believable.

And then I got sick. Quite sick for a while now. Nothing life threatening but just completely wiped me out. So looked through Amazon Prime Video to find new stuff and discovered The Magicians by Lev Grossman. Wow! Immediately sought out the books.

All of the things come together perfectly really. The Magicians is obviously based on the Narnia books, but with a slightly (only slightly) more grown up point of view. Focussed more on the magic and less on the how men should be thing, am ignoring any religious overtones right now, but have to say The Magicians does that beautifully in the end. Absolutely elegantly. And have to say, while I was reading the books (it’s a trilogy), listening to CS Lewis and watching the Prime Video adaptation I hated the adaptation more and more. And given that the author is one of the producers I really don’t understand how he let the series get so messy when he’s controlled the story so perfectly in the books. Though I love the diversity in the programme. It’s all very English upper crust (despite being American) in the books, but the series shows the anger and the angst so much better. I just hate when the time line jumps all over the place. (American Gods I’m looking at you too – where is the lake story??!!!).

Sorry Mr Gaiman

I’ve loved the Narnia audiobooks so much – actually maybe more than when I was a kid, it’s just a beautifully realised world and while yeah the Christian motif is obvious it’s actually not at all what it’s about. And actually I think this is where my first love of Greek mythology comes from. But I’m struggling with the right god/wrong god bit just now.

Bloody hell.

And then Temeraire. Which is an epic tale that calls to me. And is something everyone that loved Biggles or Anne McCaffrey or Robin Hobb or even James Patterson or Tom Clancy would enjoy escaping to in a totally stressful fantasy kind of way.

Mate! Books adventures are awesome!

Okay. Am putting this out there but have actually just done (finally!! Sucks to live in Wellington) our first sea dive!! Will be posting that ASAP. With video!!